Did you nurse your pumpkins? Did you get flack for it?
It's sad, isn't it, with all the problems we have in this world that a parent's choice in feeding their child is such a controversial issue? (Can we focus on feeding the hungry instead, please?) How do you think our ancestors got here? Their moms (or a wet nurse their parents employed) breast-fed them! They didn't have processed formula way back then. And I mean WAY back - before electricity, indoor plumbing, or even motorized transportation! Before breasts became sexualized, they had a practical purpose.
I chose to nurse mine. Aside from that fact that it was a personal choice, I loved the fact that it was free, always ready and I didn't need to buy all the extra stuff required to bottle feed (all the different nipples for each stage, bottles, brushes - and oh, that expensive formula!). Breast-feeding is not instinctual and it is not easy to begin. (My oldest was much easier to nurse than my youngest, but my youngest has a much stronger attachment to nursing than his big brother did. And if you're really determined to nurse and you can't get help at home, contact your local hospital. If they don't have someone on their maternity staff they can direct you to, they'll be at least a good starting point for someone who can.) But once you get the hang of it, it's so easy. The only thing you need to take with you, is a blanket or cover of some sort to shield your nursing pumpkin from the shaming (and sometimes pervy) eyes of passers-by. (And at some point, you will either be scolded by an old lady for "doing that in public" or leered at by some creeper in the next booth at Chick-Fil-A.)
My first husband was staunchly against my breast-feeding our son. He said that it would ruin my 34C's and he hadn't signed up for that (yeah, he was a real gem). He wasn't the opposition I was prepared for. Neither was my mom who told me that women in our family weren't able to do that so I should just go ahead and buy the bottles and formula. Luckily for me, my girl-friends, my mother-in-law and my pediatrician were in my corner. And when we did turn to supplementing with formula, it wasn't a decision I tormented myself with. I was working and the provider we chose told us our hungry little boy was devouring the pumped milk supply faster than I could replenish it. He was four months old - too young to switch over to regular food. I continued to nurse at night and on the weekends for the next five months and he switched easily between boob and bottle. And when he decided he was done nursing, neither of us looked back with regret.
While my second husband may not have been 100% on board, he said he was willing to give it a try when our son was born last summer. (He never once mentioned the ruination of my boobs.) I could tell he missed getting to feed the baby. But when I got up in the middle of the night, so did he. He changed the baby's diaper, brought me ice water and rubbed my back. Then when baby was full, he burped him and snuggled him back to sleep. This was the support I'd missed out on the first time. And he's been equally supportive when I need to nurse the baby out in public. Whether he's shielding us from prying eyes or assisting us into the car for more private nursing (sometimes the baby just will not tolerate a cover), whatever we need to get the job done, he's our man! (While my oldest embraced the bottle eagerly, my youngest does not. He will drink water from a "trainer" cup, but he knows where the milk comes and that's the only way he'll take it!)
So imagine my surprise when I went into the doctor for my six week post-partum check up. I'm sure this was motivated by a drug rep (those sneaky little buggars really do make the medical decisions for us now, don't they), but the girl checking me out after my appointment asked me what type of formula we were using for my pumpkin. When I told her I was nursing, she said, "Well, when your milk starts drying up just let us know and we can provide you with the right formula to supplement so he gets all the vitamins that your breast milk doesn't contain." I think I was able to turn around before I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I've had to make several trips to the doctor since then and she still says the same thing to me. Every. Single. Time. You'd think after 9 months (NINE!!), that she'd stop asking. I've got my response down pat now and it comes out with practiced precision. "He's still nursing thank you we're weaning him at a year and putting him straight onto cow's milk." Now, if he was failing to thrive - not gaining weight, not hitting his milestones, lethargic - I wouldn't have hesitated to switch him to formula. I'm not so attached to nursing that I would put him in danger. And even though we did have some digestive issues (projectile vomiting which our pediatrician diagnosed as GERD), we worked through them while continuing to nurse (a couple months on baby Zantac and he was just fine). I can't stress enough finding a pediatrician who's on your side. This is the doctor to trust with your baby's life and they should - if not agree with you 100% - listen to your requests and work with you through any complications that pop up.
The lines are drawn and the teams are picked. Whether you're Pro-Boob, or Pro-Bottle, you should be allowed to feed your baby without fear of humiliation - or in some extreme cases, jail time. Whether you're defending your decision to you friends, family, the community at large or -gasp- a medical professional, the point is to trust yourself. You're the one who's with him day in and day out. You know when something isn't right, and conversely, when it is.
Happy Raising
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